Why am I in school?

It’s that time of the year again.
The time for being antisocial.
The time for being unwashed, uncombed, undressed.
The time for hating myself for being in school.
The time for picking my face, braiding my hair, eating ramen.
The time for perusing tumblr for hours on end.
The time for typing ten words and calling it a success for the night.
The time for sharing looks of dismay/disgust with strangers in the hall.
The time for trolling Google books.
The time for pushing a paper out of my body like a 12 pound baby.
The time for endless blogging in lieu of research.

I’m currently nesting in my bed…procrastinating of course…debating whether I should work on my papers or play the Sim 3 until I pass out for the night. I’ve made some small successes for the day (aka actually typed something) and I feel as though I deserve some sort of reward.

I suppose that, in a way, this is sort of like being on a diet. I’ve eaten well for the first time in three months, and I feel as though I deserve an entire cake for this accomplishment.

I don’t, of course. Luckily, this little metaphor that I just made up is motivating me to write another 500 words before I go to bed. My reward for my previous accomplishment will be a nice mug of warm tea.

On a completely unrelated note, this guy is my hero. I like to think that once I am out of school I will be able to accomplish awesome things like this guy.


Prood Reading

re: “Prood Reading”

To Whom it may concern,

I’m sorry but we cannot fulfill your request at the time. I understand that you have high moral standards for your tutor, and do not wish for your essay to be exposed to any sort of sexual deviancy. If you wish for a greater variety of tutor, please attempt to submit your paper before one o’clock AM. As it stands, I will look over your paper and have it back to you within half an hour.

Have a nice day.

PS: I am currently naked.

Straight up gangsta

I recruited a new gangsta on Saturday.  Her name is Alissa, and she is the most gangsta person ever.  Fo’ schizzle.

Alissa is super cool because she says the most ridiculous things (or sometimes even super normal things), and if she thinks they’re funny she’ll do this FACE that looks like she’s trolling.  I guess sometimes she kind of is trolling, but her trolling face is so funny that she makes everything funny when she does it.

(Note:  “Trolling” is internet slang for posting crazy stuff to see how other people will react.  Alissa is so skilled that she trolls in real life.)

Anyway, she was wanting to text Joanna (who doesn’t troll, but is still awesome) and since she was reading the gangsta bible, she decided to gangsta text Joanna.  AND IT WAS AWESOME.  I used to be a gangsta in Grade 9, and I was super inspired by Alissa.  She took ghetto to the x-treme.

(That’s a diamond grill on her teeth, not a giant anchovy)


On a completely unrelated note, Microsoft Paint is the worst program ever.  How did I ever think it was fun to use?  If Photoshop is the technological equivalent of a tasty layer cake, Paint is the technological equivalent of a mouldy graham cracker that’s been peed on.