Not a super deep post

So I work at Sears, which sometimes blows, but one really super cool thing is that I get lots of free and discounted stuff. In the past I’ve talked about how I seem to attract various possessions like soap etc…well recently I’ve been attracting perfumes, and I need a place to record how much I like each one.

So my assessments come from an initial whiff and a secondary whiff sometime later. v. scientific.

Jessica’s Les Grande Parfum Reviews (i m so fwench)

L’Air Du Temps- Nina Ricci  ***

This smells a lot like an old Lush fragrance called “Fever,” which is basically like a mixture of rose and dusty jasmine that’s been stomped on. Really bruised floral, kind of decaying but in not a gross way. Dirty-ish.

Pleasures- Estee Lauder *

Pretty much weirdly bland yet gross. White floral, wildflowers, initially smells like bug spray. I can catch a slight whiff of something nice, like a spicy musk, but very faint. Kind of smells like cheap “perfumed” bath salts…maybe attempting to be lilac. Failing at that. I snurfed this one a lot because I wanted to figure out why I disliked it. I dunno man…it’s so non-offensive that it’s putrid.

Truth or Dare- Madonna **
In order for you to understand my confusion with this scent, I have to explain how it’s marketed. The ads are various black and white photos of Madonna looking sexy/tough, and the bottle is all geometric with a studded lid. I expected it to be musky and dark and instead…it smells like ultra sweet cough syrup. Crazy sweet lightly spiced, cloying (is that a thing?). Could almost be a vanilla jasmine, but a very bland one.

Lovestruck- Vera Wang **1/2
This was nice. Sweet, but unabashedly so, like Sweetarts or someother dextrose based candy. Mellows into an artificial grape-esque scent, but not bad per say. Not really for me, but not nasty sweet like the Madonna one.

Lovestruck Floral Rush- Vera Wang * 1/2
Hmmmm. Initially very much like a fruity grapefruit chewing gum. As to be expected, it’s basically Lovestruck with florals added. Disliked it more as time went on.

Sensuous Nude- Estee Lauder **1/2
Initially notes say “sweet, spicy, toasted marshmallow.” Morphs into “sweet toasted lipstick…medicine cabinet?” Oh dear. I don’t know, I kind of like it…”kind of” being the operative term. I wouldn’t spend money on it. Seems like it’s trying to be too many types of attractive, like an attractive mature woman wearing a teenager’s clothes. Oh man, that was weird. I’m tired and my nose is confused.

No. 5- Chanel ****
Classic. At first spray it was too much for me: “INTENSE & old fashioned.” However, after a while I snurfed it again and I got this crazy rush of vague memories from when I was super young…like I’m pretty sure either one of my grandmas or my mum wore it at some time. I can see why it’s so popular…it’s quite amazing. Way too heavy for me, but super complex and nice to sniff. Spicy and MUSKY like woah.

Inspire- Christina Aguilera ***
Non-offensive, soft, melony. Makes me smile, reminds me of when I was 10 for some weird reason. I think a friend’s mom wore it or something. There’s an underlying musky armpit smell which is strange but doesn’t pop up that often. Seems like a good starter scent.

Happy Heart- Clinique **
Weird, non-offensive, hint of weak spice, beachy?? (Like that Seinfeld episode with Kramer and the beach perfume except not quite). Starts off as green apple and bug spray…

Hello Pretty- Mark **
Cherry blossom and medicinal bubble gum. Weird hints of soya sauce (wut?)

Cool Water- Davidoff **1/2
Kind of nice. Starts off like dishwashing liquid, reminded me of the science centre bubble fluid. Mellows into something like the Ikea candle section…like berries and apples.

Miracle- Lancome **
Very ladylike, roses, white wine, faint lilac. Doesn’t mellow well…feels like it’s missing a bass note. Open floral, sort of like hydrangeas if they have a smell…? I don’t know, that’s just what popped into my head.

Hypnose- Lancome *****
NUMMMMMM! I love this one so much, I have actually bought a full bottle of it for real monies. Starts off sweetly with a spicy fennel edge and mellows into a sweet and spicy with a very light citrus note and jasmine. Strangely enough it always makes my mouth water even though it’s not super food-y.

So…It seems like I like very “full” scents like Chanel No 5 and Hypnose, that are all spicy and thick. Hmm…. I still have a few more to do but my nose feels like it’s dying.




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